I saw it in your eyes long before. The fight was gone. Almost every single one of your hopes for your birth had gone exactly the opposite of your wishes. And still you soldiered on, hope lighting the fire of your determination to keep trying.
Then suddenly the fire in your eyes just died. That was it, you were done. And we tried to encourage it to catch again, but it was no use.
It struck me suddenly as I listened to everyone in the room tell you how well you were doing and to just keep on keeping on. What are we doing? I looked at your face and realized that continuing to encourage you to keep trying at this point could be traumatizing. We were just trying to help.
And then quietly, you surrendered “I can’t. I just can’t do this anymore.”
At that moment, I couldn’t have been more relieved and more proud.
What I want you to know is that sometimes a quiet surrender is more courageous than a loud roar of power. Knowing where your limits are and having the courage to say it to a room full of people telling you otherwise will serve you well on your journey as a parent. For there will be many times that others will tell you what you should do and making a decision from within is probably the most valuable parenting skill there is.
Not to mention, having the courage to speak it to people who are trying to change your mind, especially to those you respect, love and care for.
So, to my client who quit; you got this. Trust yourself. I believe in you.
Your Doula, Amanda